Still a Bit Crazy

Since my discharge, things have been different. I mean, my mates all welcomed me back. They’ve been helping me get through all of the doctors’ appointments and physical therapy, but my confidence has taken a beating. Before I joined up I was a fit lad. I’d even been scouted for rugby, but I decided to go and fight instead. Can’t say I regret it, but I’ll never be able to forget it now, either.
Most of the time, I can get around with a walking stick. I’m only 29 but I am sure I look like an old geezer from behind. When things are really bad, I have to use a chair. Women still flirt with me and have a laugh, but it always felt like they were doing it out of pity. Doesn’t matter really. I didn’t have the guts to ask them out anyway.
It’s not just the physical stuff. I mean, everything down there still works just fine. Don’t think I don’t know it either. It’s been quite frustrating. My main problem is in my head. Been seeing a shrink about that. No way I’m taking the drugs they want me to take though. I’ve tried them. They make me feel like half a person. I’d rather be a whole crazy person than half a sane one.
I’m on an online forum for veterans, who’ve been wounded. We tell dark jokes, give each other some moral support and talk about personal stuff. Our love lives are a pretty common subject, but I don’t mind really. It gives me an outlet where I feel like people understand. One night on the forum – or should I say early morning cause I’m up all night a lot these days – one of the fellows, who lost both his legs, said he’d had an amazing experience with an escort.
When I read his story, I suddenly felt hopeful, excited and curious all at the same time. I was pretty sure that if I could just get some experience under my belt, dealing with my physical issues and how I think I look now, I might start feeling confident enough to ask a girl out. To be honest, I do have one particular girl in mind.
I private messaged the guy on my forum to ask him about how he went about finding an escort. I mean, I had no bloody idea. I’d never thought of trying it before. He told me about this website, Cleopatra Escorts. He said you can visit a page for each girl, find out a bit about her, look at some pics of her and on each page it tells you whether she’ll date someone who is disabled. Before he even finished sending me all the info, I’d looked up the page and nearly had to scrape my jaw off the floor with all the gorgeous women there.
I know it probably sounds weird, but I found an escort who looked the least like the girl I want to ask out, cause, I don’t know, it wouldn’t feel right. She was a right looker though. Booking was so easy as well. I just explained what was going on with me on the booking form, so when we met up there wouldn’t be any awkward moments.
Well, all I can say is that making that date was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. She was crazy beautiful. I had been terrified that she’d take one look at my injuries and run a mile, but she didn’t. She was tender and kind and funny too. She let me take my time, so I didn’t feel rushed and helped me along whenever I needed it. That date with her changed everything about how I feel about myself. I’m not a freak and I can actually have normal relations with a woman. In fact, in the middle of it all, I completely forgot about everything and just enjoyed myself.
I still haven’t asked the girl I fancy out, but I’m building up to it. I can’t wait, and if she says ‘no’, I know I’ll get over it because now I believe I’m a whole man. OK, a bit crazy, but then again, I always was.