A Long Speech

Durak leaned back in his chair, exhausted, his white blonde hair looking even less kept than usual. What a hell of a week. A new job, a new home and a puppy. The new job he’d definitely wanted, and the new house came with it as it’s a live in situation. His bonkers, but ruthlessly ambitious girlfriend made him get the puppy. He quite liked dogs. His family had always had them, but he’d found them somewhat annoying in that their slobbery determination for attention, often distracted those who should be patting his own fluffy head. He had to admit, he was jealous of this little puppy too, especially how everyone seems so excited by it as if its appearance was more important than his new position. Durak realised he needed to stop harbouring on his childhood insecurities and find a way to make this all work. Terribly stressful time. Terribly.

As easily distracted as Durak is, even the fleeting thought of his childhood triggered his memory to repeat the somewhat obsessional thoughts he had about his boarding school days. Just the thought of the stern look of the headmaster would give him before spitting the words ‘bend over and drop your trousers Durak!’ sent him into a bit of a pink faced flurry. Durak’s face is always one or the other shade of pink, but there is nothing in the world, he found more exciting than his cheeky little bottom getting even pinker. His girlfriend, Suka, thought his particular desire to be spanked was ridiculous and she made it very clear that she had no intention to indulge. She also warned him what would happen to his career if anyone very found out. Quite frankly, he very much doubted it though, given one of his predessecors widely publicised inappropriate encounter with a pig.

‘C’mon, a bit of hanky spanky is our national bedroom pastime.’ Durak thought to himself, and given that he now represented a nation, it was his birthright to indulge. And indulge he decided he must. This was something he knew always cleared his head. He’d found it to be the perfect time to be creative and come up with clever ideas. Bent over a desk, while harshly disciplined certainly proved, for Durak, to focus his mind. It also made him very horny, but never mind that. Like his entire life, he has people to take care of these things.

Remembering his favourite place to get his needs met, he used his secret personal phone to look up the escort company he loved best. ‘Damn, what is their name? Clit escorts?’ He shook his head thinking that would be far too obvious and a little bit tacky, but it does have a ring to it. Definitely sounded like that though.

‘Cl…cl…Cleop…Cleopatra. That’s it!’ he declared to no one in particular and even got up to do a little happy dance around the living room, stepping in a pile of puppy poo as he did so. Pulling off his dirty sock, he threw it in the bin, returned to his phone and asked it to find Cleopatra Escorts.

‘Perfect,’ he thought. Just as he was tapping in ‘dominatrix’, Suka walked back into the room with the puppy, speaking out loud about some rubbish or another to do with Europe. Ignoring her, and the puppy, now sniffing the smear of poop he’d left on the carpet for someone to clean up, he carried on scrolling.

Off handedly, he said ‘Suka, I am going to get a bit of my special therapy today. I need it more than ever.’

Knowing exactly what he was referring to, she looked towards him with disgust, called the puppy and slammed the door as she left. ‘Excellent,’ he thought. ‘Now, where was I? Oh yes, ooh, a French dominatrix might be fun. Since we’re all about being naughty in Europe, I think this will work.’

Durak arranged his date with the tall, statuesque escort he found. He didn’t really care much what she looked like as he’d not really be looking at her much. But the accent sounded fun. He used the same pseudonym he’d used for years, ‘Thatch’. That always gave him a giggle. ‘Down on your knees Thatch, the Dommes would say to him and the smirk he could never hold back would guarantee further punishment. He loved it.

In the old days he’d have arranged an outcall and have them meet him at some hotel, but nowadays he needed to be far more discreet. He arranged an incall nearby, donned his bicycle helmet and headed out of the door. Brushing off the policeman’s query about where he was heading as he headed out, he hopped on his bike and started pedaling. A few journos jogged along beside him for a short while, shouting questions at him as if he had a bloody clue what they were talking about. Eventually they gave up, distracted by Suka and the puppy.

He locked his bike outside and chained to a tree on the quite pleasant street where he was to visit his date. He headed down the steps to the basement flat and knocked. As the door opened, he blustered through it without so much as greeting the beautiful woman who opened it and flopped down on the sofa in the tidy and welcoming living room.

‘Get me a cup of tea would you love?’ he mumbled as he started to take his clothes off. ‘Chop, chop! I’m a busy man. I don’t have all day.’

Renata was her name and even though she thought this was a domming gig, she shrugged. She started getting paid the minute he walked through the door. So, she went into the kitchen and made a tray with tea, returning 5 minutes later to find her date stark bollock naked with his arse in the air, kneeling in front of the couch while simultaneously scrolling through his phone mumbling about the Queen. Totally unsure of how this date was going to proceed, she asked, ‘Are you going to have tea?’

‘No, no, no. Why on earth would I be hear naked if I wanted to drink tea. Get on with it why don’t you.’ He said so dismissively that Renata thought how much pleasure she was going to get out of strapping that arse black and blue.

Familiar with the oddities of this type, she pulled out her paddle and told him to put his phone away. When he didn’t respond immediately, she swung hard and landed the paddle square on his left buttock. He howled. She laughed and swung again. He dropped his phone and let himself go into his mind, into the days when he would tell his fellow students during their evening jerk circles how many times he was struck for that day’s misdemeanor and they would all groan together. None of them ever lasted long doing this, but they did become lifelong friends and all were now in positions of power. Mostly bankers and lawyers, but a few sitting MPs had been part of this little school malarkey.

Renata made him begin to count and thank him for each strike and he, unable to switch between his fantasy and reality, kept saying ‘Thank you, sir.’

She didn’t really care, as long as it was working for him, which it seemed it was. After a good two hours, his arse looked like a blue truffle and he was snoring face down on the floor. Absolutely, not the weirdest date she’d ever had, but certainly in the top ten. Renata poked him in the ribs with the pointy toe of her PVC thigh high boots and told him it was time to go.

He started saying something like ‘No Mummy, please don’t send me away again!’ before he finally came out of his stupor, ran his hand through his consistently messy hair and got up. Redressing, he fumbled in his pocket and found some cash, throwing it onto the sofa. Clipping the chin strap of his bicycle helmet, he suddenly found some charm, kissed Renata on both cheeks, told her she was delightful and wonderful and thanked her so much and then left.

He looked for his bike and found that some hoodlums had sawn off the chain, which was still at the foot of the tree and thought ‘What is this bloody country coming to?’ He pulled out his phone and called Suka. ‘You need to come and get me. Some bastard has stolen my bike. I just finished my treatment.’

Sighing deeply, Suka replied ‘Where are you? I’ll send one of the coppers that hang around here all day down to pick you up. They don’t seem to have much better to do. ‘You need to get back here now. There’s some sort of important meeting waiting for you.’

Durak, jumped out of the police car and dashed into the meeting. He knew he had to give a speech and now it was going to have to be a rather long one as sitting down was going to be difficult for a while.