Dad Bod

Last night I switched off the telly and said to myself ‘Jack, you need to cheer yourself up and do something fun.’ I’d been binge watching the news and it was depressing. Brexit, Prime Ministers, U.S. Presidents, hurricanes, shootings, and generally everything annoying and bad was being streamed minute by minute into my living room and, subsequently, into my head. I don’t honestly know why I do it. Life’s too short to be constantly surrounded by doom and gloom, especially if there are more enjoyable ways to spend my time.

I’m not a bad looking bloke. Admittedly, I have a bit of a ‘Dad bod’, or possibly 3 ‘Dad bods’, depending on the Dad, but in all fairness, I’ve been a Dad for over two decades now and spent that time self-medicating with chips and curries. Who can blame me? Raised two sons and a daughter and they’ve all fled the nest now. My wife died in a car accident when they were little ones and I just did what had to be done. They all have jobs and haven’t landed in jail, so I must be doing something right. One of my boys is even gay and I went with him to Pride last year. I’m a decent Dad.

Raising kids is fucking exhausting, especially when working two jobs to pay the bills. It isn’t that I didn’t want to have another relationship or, even get married again. I was just too bloody tired all the time. Whenever I did meet someone interesting, I’d quickly realise how much more energy that was going to take and the only place it would come from was the effort I spent on the kids. I wasn’t about to do that, so I just focused on getting them out into the real world as relatively sane, healthy adults. There’s not much more I can do now.

That’s probably why I have been spending more time than usual watching the telly. There’s nothing but crap on TV, so I always ended up drifting back to the news. It’s a 24-hour live stream of despair and it was about time I snapped myself out of it. I’ve been thinking about dating again but it’s been that long since I’ve been with a woman that I’m not sure I remember what to do. Somehow, I don’t think it’s like getting back on a bike again. I’ve run scenarios like films through my head of what a plank I’m going to look if I try it on with a woman and then fail in the bedroom department. I mean, these days, it’s not like you even bother dating really. You just find someone on an app and it’s all sort of expected. At least that’s what I think it’s like. Truth is, I don’t have a fucking clue.

So, last night after I switched the telly off, I decided on a whim to book an escort. It’s not like I don’t have some extra cash floating about now that I don’t have to feed three teenagers and I’ve got the whole house to myself. I could have an orgy in here if I wanted and no one would be the wiser. That said, I thought it probably best if I started with just one woman. So, I did some research and found a site called Cleopatra Escorts. Sounds all exotic and everything, but it’s really an easy website to use. It’s not intimidating at all and you can take your time and read about the different women that are available for dates until you find one you like.

There’s an awful lot of real lookers on the site, but it’s interesting. You may see one that looks perfect and then you read more details and discover she’s just not the right fit for what you’re wanting. I’m glad you’re able to do that because it makes it easier to find someone that sounds like she’ll be up for doing the things that I enjoy. I’m not exactly kinky, but there are one or two things I’ve thought about over the years that I wouldn’t mind trying if I have someone who can show me how.

I went through the descriptions and settled on a very pretty woman, not too young, who mentioned that she knew about fetishes. I’ve had this weird thing for feet, ever since I can remember. Good a time as any to try it out. Somehow it doesn’t seem as strange to me now as it did when I was younger. I wonder if that’s because I’m more open minded or that the world is.

I live near the west end of London, so I arranged an outcall to my place, but agreed to meet her at a bar first so that it didn’t seem too weird. All women deserve to feel safe and respected. That’s something I definitely learned as a Dad. We met at a pub just down the road and thankfully, Antonia arrived in jeans, a blouse and a leather jacket. I suppose I’ve seen too many movies, but I was really nervous that she’d walk in and everyone would start judging. She was much more beautiful in person and actually, seemed like a really nice person.

She was from Eastern Europe but spoke English perfectly with a slight accent, which was quite sexy. She had a great sense of humour and it didn’t take long for us to get on like old friends. The best thing about it though was that I didn’t have to stay in the friend zone for once. No kids at home. No dinner to cook. No tidying to do. No school events to attend. It was time for me to finally make the most of having an empty house and almost no responsibilities.

We walked arm in arm back to my place and I offered Antonia some wine. I am, in fact, a secret wine drinker. I might have a pint down the pub with my mates, but I love to have a bottle of nice wine at home. She excused herself to go to the loo while I opened the bottle. When she came back, I nearly fell over. She was wearing skin tight PVC and looked like something out of a magazine. And, by that, I mean that she was drop dead gorgeous.

It didn’t take long for me to find out that yes, it is a bit like a bike, riding and all. I also got to explore some of the interesting fantasies I’d had over the years and Antonia was brilliant at showing me how. This whole role-playing thing is a new world to me, but I can see that I’m going to really enjoy finding out about it. When we were finished, Antonia was kind enough to tell me about a few clubs, where I might be able to meet like minded women, if I’m looking for more of a relationship at any time. She said that she’d be happy to come to one of them on a date with me until I get my feet. I’m really pleased about that. I really want to feel fully confident before I start testing out the real world. I certainly want to meet the right woman eventually but perhaps, what I thought was right for me 25 years ago, has changed a bit now. It’s certainly going to be fun to find out.