Does it still work?

I’m 68. I’m about to get married again. I’m terrified. I hope I don’t sound like a sad bastard, but I needed to find someone who could help me get my mojo back. I’m a Christian. Oh Lord. It’s so complicated. Let me explain.

My beloved wife died 20 years ago. She was my first and only lover. I adored her. We were both brought up in strict Christian households and never thought about sex before marriage. After she died, I resigned myself to living as a widow for the rest of my life. I couldn’t imagine ever meeting anyone else.

That all changed a year ago. I met Sandy. She’s 10 years younger than I am and she’s beautiful. I’m not sure what she sees in me. We met at church. She’s a widow too and I think her daughter had a hand in setting us up, though I’m not sure. We ended up sitting next to each other at a fund-raising event and we just hit it off.

At first, I just thought she was being nice to me out of pity, but over time, we got to know each other better and it turned out that she really liked me too. Her husband had died serving the country, so she was a widow too. We had a lot in common. We both have adult children and we enjoy reading and walking, among other things.

As our relationship became more serious, we decided that we wanted to remain chaste before marriage. It seemed terribly romantic as her husband had been her only love as well. Of course, we kissed and cuddled, but we never let it go beyond that because it just didn’t seem right.

Now the wedding is coming up and I don’t know if I can even do it anymore. I am dreading the wedding night and she’s sensing I’m nervous, though I won’t tell her why. I think she thinks I’m getting cold feet. Of course, it’s quite the opposite. I just want to be able to please her.

I spent a lot of time thinking and praying on this and I decided that as I’m currently unmarried, I wouldn’t be sinning too terribly if I did a test run with someone else. I just need to make sure everything works like it should. I just can’t bear the thought of her thinking that I don’t fancy her if I can’t perform.

I decided the best thing to do would be to confide in my son. He’s a bit of a lad around town and knows about these things. He laughed when I told him, but he was also helpful and promised never to breathe a word of this to anyone. He sat me down and we looked on his computer together for an escort service. He explained that escorts are discreet and experienced and no one would ever need to know.

He loaded up a website called Cleopatra Escorts. At first, I didn’t want to look as the photos were pretty revealing. So, my son poured me a whiskey and told me to lighten up. After a while, I have to admit that I quite enjoyed looking at all the photos of the very beautiful women. A lot of them were in their 20s though. Way to young for me.

Eventually we found a nice looking woman in her 30s. I still think it’s much too young but at least I know that by 30, we all have a level of maturity and that’s what I wanted.

My son told me that we should let the escort service know about my situation so that the escort would be able to help me. It felt a little bit like I was going to a head shrinker the way he said it, but I guess it is better to be prepared. So, we made a booking and wrote a little bit about me on the booking page.

My son said that as a bachelor’s gift, he was going to pay for all of this. I think he was getting a kick out of it really. He booked me into a very nice hotel in the west end of London. We told my fiancé and the family that he was taking me for a guys’ night on the town to celebrate the upcoming wedding and everyone seemed very happy about that. He booked himself into the room next door just in case I panicked, because he knew how worried I was about all of this. He said he’d arranged for the escort to come up to my room in the evening and that I should have a shower, a whiskey and relax.

We went out and had a light dinner somewhere expensive. At least we’d have that as a story to tell when we got home. Afterwards, he went back to his room. He said he had some work to do. I tried not to be too anxious. I put on some nice aftershave after my shower and sat down to read a book while I waited. At 8pm sharp, there was a tap at the door.

I opened the door slightly, not sure the proper way to greet an escort and said, ‘Who is it?’

Please don’t ask me why I said that. I’m so embarrassed now thinking about it. Anyway, she said ‘It’s me honey. I’ve come to take care of you.’

I smoothed down my shirt, adjusted my tie and opened the door to invite her inside. My jaw nearly hit the ground. She was gorgeous. Much more beautiful than in the photos, where I have to say, she looked a little bit slutty. But here she was, wearing proper clothes, dressed up nicely and looking every so pretty. I felt suddenly very ashamed.

She put her fingers under my chin and lifted my head up so that I had to look at her. Her voice was very kind. She said, ‘I understand that you want to find out if you’re going to be able to make your new bride happy. Don’t you worry about a thing. Think about this like an engine tune up on a fine old car and you’ll be fine. Why don’t you let me give you a massage?’

That sounded like a very good idea. We started off with me just sitting in the chair while she rubbed my shoulders and neck and asked me questions about myself. It really did the trick and I started to relax. She suggested that I move over to the bed so that she could massage me properly and it seemed like a perfectly reasonable suggestion. I still had all my clothes on, but I did take off my tie and unbutton a couple of buttons before lying face down.

She continued to chat away, making me feel very comfortable. She was really friendly and it wasn’t like I thought it might be. After a little while, she suggested that I turn over, so I did. She took off my shoes and socks and started massaging my feet and calves. I have to say that it felt so very good. She gradually started to move up my legs, massaging gently and telling me little stories about her pets and where she studied in college.

Before I knew it, she had my fly open. I had a moment of panic, before she gently pressed on my chest and said ‘You came here for a reason. Now it’s time to find out the answers to your questions.’

I complied and lay back with my eyes closed and tried to make my mind go blank. She had me in her hand and I can only say that it didn’t take long for things to start working like they should. At that stage, I felt there was little I could do to resist and just let myself enjoy the sensation and experience. Her gentle voice continued to stop me from stressing. Suddenly, out of nowhere, it was over. I felt relieved and somewhat euphoric.

She quickly tidied me up and zipped me back up. She helped me sit up and said ‘I think I can assure you that everything is in full working order, sir. I think your new wife will be very happy indeed. I understood how important it was to you that you saved yourself for her, so I didn’t want to do anything that would make you feel like you had deceived her. I hope you’re not disappointed that I didn’t do more.’

Stuttering, I replied, ‘Oh my goodness. No. That was perfect, and you’ve given me so much more confidence that I’ll be OK on my wedding night. I just can’t thank you enough.’ I searched for my wallet and tried to give her some money.

She patted me on the hand, bent over and kissed my cheek and said ‘Now don’t you worry about that. Your son has taken care of everything and has made sure that I’ve been very generously appreciated.’

I stood up and tried to make myself presentable. I ran my hand through my hair to smooth it down and walked her to the door. As I opened the door and she stepped outside, I noticed another, very glamorous, and much younger woman leaving my son’s room. He poked his head out of the door and with a cheeky wink chuckled, ‘You don’t think I was going to let you do this all on your lonesome now Dad, did you?’

I watched the two ladies as they sashayed down the richly carpeted hallway and turned towards the lift. I couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. My son sauntered over and stood next to me and said, ‘Everything alright Dad?’

‘Yes, son. I think it is.’ And with that we sealed our vow never to speak of this again.